When you come to a relationship realization about someone you care about...

I was lucky to be able to locate and meet with a good lady friend that I believed could have brought a lot of happiness in the past to my relationship life. And, in some way, I still believe that my lady friend has the potential to still be able to bring happiness into my relationship life. But, I am beginning to think that I may not be the type of guy that would be able to bring happiness into my lady friend's relationship life. She's appears to be at the stage where she is learning that money and friendships do not always end a loan being paid back. And, while she is still experiences the ups and downs of living as an single independent women, I do not feel that I should be trying to seek a relationship beyond our current friendship at this stage of her new life.

I think I have been trying to be "too supportive" with the well-being of my lady friend and her new life. In doing so, it appears that no matter how much I attempt to bring a positive solution to one of her dilemmas, there are others problems that are still frustrating her. I know my lady friend appreciates the encouragement that I have been showing her. But, I am afraid that I came to a relationship realization about my lady friend. I seen the relationship "red flags" before in other women that I dated/hung out with that were sometimes brooding/pessimistic in nature about their lives. These type of women won't allow themselves to "fully" enjoy the "positive" things that are occuring in her life without finding way to reflect on some negative aspects of their past. Not truly wanting to live fully in the positive moments of their lives. Meaning, these types of women rather fall back into a moment in her life when something or someone caused them to feel used or misused, rather than "fully" enjoy a current moment of satisfaction or joy. The sad part is that I may be one of catalysts in my lady friend's life that sometimes trigger those negative flashbacks of the past.

For the record, I am not saying that these types of women are bad in nature. It is usually quite the opposite. From my dating experiences, these types of women are usually very good at heart. They usually have good intentions in helping others with their problems. But, they usually get "messed over" for their good efforts. From my understanding, this negative attitude towards their relationship lives began after experiencing a very negative/traumatic relationship with some other guy/ex-boyfriend/ex-spouse that was very controlling and/or abusive towards them. I fear that this is another reason why I may have to just leave our relationship as just friends: Cause relationships with these types of women in my past dating experiences usually ended very badly for both parties involved.

At this stage of my life and career, I feel it is better to adhere to the red flags that are telling me to not pursue a committed relationship with my lady friend at this time of her life. It hurts me to even have to accept that the fact that I will have to stay in the "friend zone" with my lady friend. But, my instincts and past failed relationship experiences are telling me that I am doing the right things. In the overall scheme of my life, this is what I must do as a friend to her. When you come to a relationship realization about someone you care about, you have to listen to what your conscious is telling you. My conscious is telling me that this women has the potential to be the best thing that has even come into my relationship life.

Besides, right now, she appears to have too many unresolved personal issues that she needs to handle on her own in order to become a more complete, accomplished, and independent about herself. She finally managed to get her own place to live. She has has her own transportation. And, she has a job. She seems to have a plan with what she wants to do with her career life. I believe she has the mentality to finally be the independent woman that she would want to be. My lady friend has enough positive attributes to do so. Overall, seeking a committed relationship with my lady friend while may not be the most prudent thing to do with her at this stage of her independent life. It sucks for me. But, that is the reality of relationships with friends sometimes...