I really don't know what is worse in my life. Still single while approaching my 42ND birthday this week or being clueless of a female friend attempting to be more than friends with me. I see female friend only as a friend. Maybe, that is why I did not see the obvious signs from my female friend while others around me were noticing her minor attempts to be more than friends with me. I feel so stupid with myself for not seeing what my female friend was doing around me. And, I'm mad at myself for not noticing what my female friend was attempting to be more than friends with me. How could I have not noticed what my female friend was doing whenever she was hanging out with me? I find myself looking back at all the times we ever hung out with each other. It was never in an intimate setting with each other. We never ate lunch together unless other friends were around. I don't recall even saying anything to encourage her to believe that I was interested in her any kind of special way. Up until today, I used to think that I was a very observant person when it comes to figuring out people and their hidden motives. I even used to advise others on those of the opposite sex that would use their role as "a good friend" to hang out with them in hopes of one day becoming more than friends with the person of their special interest. Yet, I didn't even see what was happening to me while my female friend was doing the same hidden motives to me. How could I have been so blind to what was happening in front of me? My female friend appear to have been steadily and patiently trying to get close to me whenever she was able t hang out with me. And, I was clueless to the fact of her sometimes hidden motives. Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
When does someone you regard as a friend begins to feel like that they may have a chance to be more than friends with you? I been there myself. time and time again, I come to know that once you are in the "friend zone" you are stuck there. And, I am cool with that rule. One time my female friend had a chance to meet one of my long time friends from out of town during a fun group outing. After the group outing, my long time friend asked me if my female friend was gay or something cause she (female friend) was trying too hard to get to know all about her. I assured my long time friend that my female friend was not gay and she was just a overly "friendly" person. Now, I see that my female friend was possibly trying to figure out how deep my friendship was with my long time friend. I'm trying not to believe that my female friend was capable of pulling such a stunt with me. But, my instincts is telling me now that my female friend has been trying to be more than friends with me during the whole time were been hanging out with each other. That's what upsetting me the most about this mess. Her hidden motives.
It didn't help that my eyes were open about my female friend's tactics after a mutual friend advised me about my female friend participating in a conversation that bad mouthing a woman that I used to date. I forgot that I had introduced my female friend to the woman that I was dating one time. And, my female friend seemed like a very cool person during that exchange. Now, I hear that my female friend appear to have been hating hard on the woman that I used to date. And, that saddens me. But, it is life. I really can;t be mad at her for what she was possibly trying to do. IT just made me upset with her when my female friend would give off a vibe or say something to me as if I was a guy that has been neglecting her as if we have been dating or something. So, I decided to not hang out with her as much cause she is beginning to make me feel a little uncomfortable while being around her. I am not seeing my female friend in the same light that I once did.
The fact of being clueless about my female and her sometimes hidden motives has caused me to reevaluate my social life when it comes to women that are considered to be my friends. I'm stupid to the hidden motives of women. Now that I'm aware of this fact. I hopefully can not have this same uncomfortable issue come up in the future...
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